Chickacarrabra

These amature photos were taken by an anonymous photographer in the parking lot of Wal-Mart in the quiet rural town of Greenville Mississippi. This photo is thought to be solid evidence of the existence of the elusive Chickacarrabra. Real or fake? You decide.

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Swiss Cheese Cake

Ok I know it's been a long time.  Sorry.  Been busy with the new job.  I'm finally settling down enough to start blogging again.  Here is something Angela and I made last night.  It's our first cake!  Were so proud!  Hope you like it and ill be on track again soon.

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What's Up DOC?

Well I started my new position this week as Assistant Fire Marshal. I'll have to admit that most of this week I was thinking that I made a mistake taking this position. All the time alone that I had on my two days off after a 24 hour shift at a fire station... gone. It's been hard adjusting. I've been on 24/48 shift work for the past 5 1/2 years! What was I thinking going back to 8 to 5? Anyway, I was really getting a little depressed about it this morning and my mind was not all that sharp. Today was also my first day on my own. The Fire Marshal took the day off and left me to inspect about 20 businesses. The first one of the day was a doctor's billing office which was supposed to be in this particular

building in section "C". I went inside and spoke to the first person I saw. He looked very busy but I didn't have the mentality to be polite. I found out he was in charge and I quickly informed him of my obligation to inspect his office. He didn't look too happy about it and seemed puzzled that I was there in the first place. So, I did my inspection and found that both fire extinguishers were expired for over a year. I told the guy that and he sort of gave me this, "ok but exactly who do you think you're talking to?" look. I guess he felt I was trying to bully him or something and I wondered why someone in charge of medical billing would be so irritated by my inspection. Anyway I told him I wouldn't fail

him if he could get the extinguishers inspected today and I would gladly come back this afternoon. That seemed to really piss him off but I just said: "hey that's HIS problem". So when I finally returned that afternoon I noticed right off when I walked into the door that there was a big bulletin board full of mug shots of "Wanted" suspects, which I thought was odd for a doctors office. Anyway, I talked to the guy and he said that the extinguishers were inspected and tagged and I inspected them and they were. I told him thank you and then exited the building. When I looked back I saw MDOC on the doorway above the door. Didn't see that this morning in my early funk of mind. I couldn't help but laugh. I went back in and informed him of my mistake and promised not to hassle them anymore t

his year. "At least you're up to date" I told him and he agreed and I left snapping the above pic. I never did find the doctors office though. It wasn't all my mistake the paper read 819 Main Suite C plain as day. I felt better after that. I think I will like this job. I'm giving it until next weekend before I start questioning my new career choice. Hopefully it will all work out. I'm still a little worried it will affect my music career but then again, unless I'm playing some major gigs I don't think I'll miss playing local bars and restaurants that much. Time will tell. When it does... I'll tell you all about it.

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What I'm Going to Miss

I thought I would take some pics of some things I would miss about the fire station and about being a firefighter.  The uncomfortable recliners?   The interrupted movies?  The 3 am snot-slingers?  I couldn't think of a whole lot I would miss here except for my crew.  I never shared a college dorm with room mates so I did gain an appreciation for the male comradery that came along with the shift work.  I will miss the guys.  Also engine 6 was my first truck I drove as an engineer.  Coincidentally it was just retired to rest at this very station with me.   I guess ill miss old engine 6.  I still say its the best truck we have..  rides like a Bitch but it rarely ran out of water...  1250 gallons can put out lots of fire.  Besides its a Pierce which any fireman knows is a much better truck than our newer smooth driving E Ones.  I've always said the Pierce was like having a vintage Mercedes rather than a brand new Dodge sedan.  It's the only truck that still has the original door handles.  Quality.  Well its 8:30 pm and nearing my last night at the station.  I hope to God we don't have a fire.  I hope we all get a good nights rest... the entire department,  the entire city, and all my friends, fans and family.   Love you all.  Captain Aubrey Holman... signing off.  

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We Got a New Fire Engine

I rode around all yesterday in this baby.  Fire station 6 got a new engine. Of course I'm not stationed at 6 anymore I was only working for another captain.  I am stationed today and tonight at station 5.  *see new station blog. After this shift I will have been at work for 48 hours.  Normally I would be a little crazy by now but I have some excellent news!  After this shift I will be off my usual 2 days and report to work Monday morning as Assistant Fire Marshal!  Yep I got promoted!  No more 24 hour shifts for me!  I'm 8 to 5 now.   Off on weekends but I will be on call some nights.    So enough about me..  the new truck drives like a Cadillac.  It holds plenty of water.  Over 1000 gallons.  We needed one badly.  It's our second new truck this year.  You know, if a town as poor as Greenville Mississippi can afford 2 new fire trucks and give 60 of its fire department members a raise during a financial drought, then why the hell can't our government manage our tax dollars with the same care?   Ah.... I'm too happy to complain about all that.   Later.

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Nothing special

<untitled>Ok I'm going to try this.I'm just testing thing out.  I'm hoping this is the kind of program that will allow me to type freely and then copy and paste into another application.  So far it seems to do the trick.  I'm really beginning to enjoy this little program.  

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Letter to Kenmore

To any and everyone at Sears and Kenmore:

I've owned my Kenmore "True" (drop-in) glass top stove for less than 16 months and the handle stripped off of it. I examined it and realized that it was a design flaw. The screws were too short and the plastic the handle was made of was too soft. I can already tell by the comments here:

http://www.epinions.com/msg/sec_~forums/show_~threads/cat_id_~17/id_~5493/forum_id_~409/pp_~2

that I will get no useful help on this matter. I assure you that I will fix it myself but I will never buy a single Sears, Kenmore, or any other related product as long as I live. This problem is not one of ignorance or even neglect it's a lack of basic human consideration towards the people who put food in your mouths. Make better products or you will fail as a business. Feel free to contact me if you care to keep or lose a lifelong customer and a future generation.. over a set of screws.

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I'm Alive!

Well of course we had a fire last night. Several in town actually. And they were this morning actually. The first that I heard about was one of my firefighter's rental properties. He left to tend to that and I rolled over, said "ok" and fell back asleep. That was about 4 am. My engineer (driver/operator) woke me at 5:30 am and told me that we had a house fire to tend to. I never heard the fire phone or even the radio crackle so it seemed sort of unreal. In fact all I knew when I got in the truck was that we were going to a fire. I assumed, because of all the radio traffic that we would be second or third on the scene. I was wrong. All the other companies were at the other 2 fires! We were the first on scene and the entire back corner of the house was blazing. Worst part was that there was a family supposedly still inside. I kicked the front door in while my firefighter began the attack. It was too hot and there was too much smoke and fire to go any further than a few steps into the living room so I pulled a second line of hoses around the other side of the house and attacked the fire until it was down enough to do a quick search. "Where the _____is everyone?" , I said out loud to myself. I knew it was foolish and against department policy to go in alone but I had to even though I thought it was too late. We're trained to do a right-hand search pattern so I put my axe under my arm, held my flashlight in my right hand and stepped into the blackness. Not to brag but I never get scared or even nervous at fires and I had no reason to be scared so I did my thing and searched the first 3 rooms. Even in broad daylight a fully involved burning house is as dark as any cave. With my flashlight I could see about two feet in front of me. The house was bigger than I thought. The 3rd room was huge compared to the other child-sized rooms before. I took a few steps in and I heard my air pack whistling. That sound meant that (under normal circumstances) I should have about 5 minutes of air left..... only it went off way too soon. It had been leaking... For the first time in my six year firefighting career I was afraid. I immediately turned around and headed back down the hallway towards the entrance. All was well until, what should have been an open entrance to the living room, ended up being a bathroom. My heart quickened a bit and I backed out and headed left again but ended up in an entirely different room... I backed out of that room and headed left again. Surely the entrance was right there..but it wasn't. Just a wall. I stood there a second and gathered my thoughts. 'calm down and figure a way out or you're going to die in this house". Sounds discouraging but I needed a wake up call and I was alone. I knew that if my air ran out my mask would suck to my face and there would be no one to keep me from tearing it off filling my lungs with super heated air and smoke. That's when the real panic sets in. That's the reason we find bodies under beds an in closets. That's how a mother or father can leave their children behind in a burning house. It's instinct. Instinct is not something you want to rely on in a house-fire. So I told myself to calm down, take a breath, slow my breathing and heart rate and find my way out. Still I just couldn't seem to get back on track. It would be at least 10 minutes or even longer before anyone would even notice I was gone. I was sure no one even saw me go in. I've never felt so alone in my life. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I cursed myself for having no sense of direction. I get lost in shoe stores! What the hell am I doing alone in a burning house? Why am I even a captain? How did I get this far? I made one last attempt to back track my way out but still I ran into a wall... I forgot my radio. I couldn't even call for help. I nearly lost it. I was going to die. I thought of Paul Smith... station 8 was named after him. I would be the next fireman to have something named after. But I was not going out like that... lonely crying.. I had an axe and by God I was going to pick a room and chop my way out! Only my mask was tightening on my mouth like a huge hand slowly closing over my mouth. I would run out of air after the third swing.... Think.. think... I heard water splashing! The fire was at the left rear of the house so.... there was at least a reference point! I kept the sound at about 11 o clock and made my way across a room and there it was. The window I'd opened earlier out back to put the fire out. I don't remember if it was daylight or fire that I saw from the outside but it looked just fine to me. I leaned my head out of the window, pulled my mask off and shouted, 'how much have you knocked down?" The captain on the nozzle said, "not much!" All was well. I pulled my air pack off, threw it out of the window along with my axe and dove head first onto the safety of the soaked back lawn. By now the house was blazing. I ran around front and an engineer loaded me up with another air tank. That's when we noticed the air leak. Until then I thought I was just breathing too hard. After a new air pack I went to help the other team who had arrived and were trying to control the fire. After the fire was under control I did a thorough search. No one was in the house. Thinking about it now I can't help but laugh at how I got so lost in such a small area. However I made a promise to myself and my wife (not out loud) that I will never enter another burning building alone. I'm alive to fight another fire.... yeah... now I know I can handle it. Now its me time.... where's my guitar?

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Other Pics from Fire

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sleep or chapter 9?

Well. I'm at chapter 9 of 'eclipse' (book 3 in the 'twilight" saga). Once again I face the delima: should I sleep or push through another chapter? I'm very tired but at the same time I'm so curious about what is next. I know if I read any further and if it gets any better I may end up pulling an all nighter. Tomorrow I need to start over recording an album for my friend and fellow songwriter (Terry Floyd) who painted my truck for me as payment. I was nearly finished with the album when I decided to run System mechanic which destroyed my hard drives and divided them into 8 partitions! But I didn't get much sleep last night (2 hours to be exact) which makes me sort of afraid to go to sleep here at the fire station. Imagine waking up to the deafening roar of a cake dish-sized bell only to be given a specific address for God knows what kind of situation. The harder you sleep the more difficult it is to think quickly and safely for the matter. Yawn... let you know tomorrow. Good night humans.

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A New Station... A New Beginning

My engineer Stanley and I got moved to a new station. It's number 5. It's not as far from home as my old station. I'm enjoying it so far. The kitchen is very small but it has recently been remodeled. I'm only a few blocks away from my wife's place of employment. It has a nice office area and a huge chalkboard. I even found this nice green Zyrtec mug. Still have the same problem with someone not washing their dishes. Disgusting huh? I love the new truck too. It's a Cadillac compared with engine 6. So I've decided that I love my new workplace.

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A Nice Long Walk Walk

Thanksgiving morning I came straight home from work to two happy puppies. I decided I would let Angela sleep in and take the kids for a run on the levee. It was such a nice morning and Todd n Lucy had such a good time. Just thought I would share that. Happy Thanksgiving. By the way this is the first mobile blog. Sorry so basic and short. It will get much better. Stick around!

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sleep or "It"

Ok I've been trying to blog from my mobile. Ain't been working. So I'll try to explain all these empty titles.

This one was about my decision whether or not to get a good nights sleep or stay up and watch Stephen King's "It". Well to make a long story short I was exhausted the next morning from all the evil clown dreams but my horror thirst has been quinched.

Clique

I've started my own clique. Only I'm invited. You can look upon my clique but you cannot be a part of it. I am the president, CEO, King and GOD of my clique. I am the "In-Crowd".

Blood Sucking Fiends!!

I hate mosquitos! Does anybody else live in a swamp like we do? Does it even make sense to live in such an area? I read a book one time by Jerry Seinfield "Sein Language". He exposed the ignorance of humans by discussing the invention of the motorcycle helmet. He claimed that people were falling off of these motorcycles and cracking their skulls.. To remedy the cracking of skulls, instead of not riding motorcycles, we invented helmets so that we could continue riding the skull cracking machines which lead to broken arms, legs, necks and also caused many deaths. Anyway I kinda feel the same way when I'm lying in bed on a perfectly cool evening and yet I'm relying on an air-conditioning unit to cool me off because I can't open a window due to the fact that there are no screens on it and there are these quarter-sized blood-sucking insects swarming by the millions at every corner and crack in the building. The air-conditioner unit is frozen solid by the way so it's going to be a loooong night. So anyway, every time I'm laying in bed and I hear the mosquito plane flying overhead (yes there is such a thing) spraying God knows what into the air to "thin out" the mosquito population one handful at a time, I get the feeling that maybe this isn't the right place for humans to build houses. Of course it's a little too late for that. I'm here and I'm at work! If I were home I would have some windows open "cause I got screens at home". Even with screens there are always a few blood-suckers who manage to slip in the door every time it's opened throughout the day. And believe you me, it only takes ONE mosquito to ruin a good nights sleep! I can't count the many times I've rolled out of bed in the morning with my arms swollen and itchy to find a ripe plump mosquito hanging onto the wall for dear life cause it's too fat to fly from sucking my wife's or my blood all night. Ever smashed a full mosquito? It looks like something you'd see on CSI when you're eating spaghetti on a week night in front of the tv.

I HATE MOSQUITOS!!!

Thank you and God Bless.

Get to the Point Already!!

I've been guilty of it. Impatience. Especially with older folks. I was never around my grandparents on either of my parents' sides. The only old folks I knew of were Mrs. Bradshaw down the street. All I knew of her is that one week she would tell me to "let those mimosa saplings grow... I wanna let em come on out." Then the very next week I would show up with my lawn equipment and she would say: "would you just go on and cut down them mimosa's... I'm just SICK of em!" I met my dad's dad from time to time.. He never said much that I remember. Just kinda sat around and bickered here and there like an old fart. I never saw much of him at all in fact. My mom's dad was a little different. Quite a character actually. Like my Mom. When he exited the plane with his lays around his neck and loud Hawaiian shirt you could tell people were looking at him not knowing what to think. You could tell he was a party animal in his day. He spoke loudly and didn't mind swearing loudly either. I only got to see him maybe 3 times in my life. Not that I'm complaining or looking for sympathy, it's just that my lack of contact with the older generation has left me with little patience or understanding of older folks. Now as I sit to write this blog, I think of all my other accounts here on the net. Twitter, Facebook, myspace. Of course I could just copy and paste this blog into the others but how do you sum up a session like this into one sentence? People are so impatient now days.... including myself. Yet when I write, it's very exhaustive. Should I strip all the good stuff away and just show everyone the end results? Personally I would feel cheated if I bought a book from Amazon and sat down to read it only to find one page that said, "The butler did it." At the same time I don't want to end up being that old guy who tells everyone his life story either. You know those right... the ones you don't wanna visit cause you know you'll never get away? Sad but true. But, do we want to become a nation of one liners?
"Sup Man?"
"Not much... bout you?"
"Not much here.... gonna rain?"
"Can't say" "Well.... when it rains it pours."
"Like cats and dogs"
"I'm two sheets to the wind man"
"Got a ride?"
"Got two feet"
"peace!"
"Word!"

Ok back to the point: Are we such an instant gratified people that we push all the work aside and go straight for the result? And why shouldn't we be. We drive 40 thousdand dollar cars that we don't understand, talk on cell phones we have no idea how the work, we eat foods of which we can't read their ingredients, we surf the net and have no idea what or where the "internet" actually is... and we live in a country run by the Government (which is us) and yet we have no idea who "They" are who's calling the shots. So... how can I sum all of this into one small short sentence?

I seriously doubt the person who came up with "Stop and Smell the Roses" just walked along and said.."Know what.... I'm going to smell these roses and then write a single sentence that includes the word roses in it".

NO! These Ideas come from long drawn out thoughts and experiences, sometimes the death of a loved on or a war experience leads to a long chain of thoughts that can be simplified into a powerful lasting phrase. These phrases are what songwriters and poets and wordsmiths long to discover. Of course... rarely does the story survive. Sad though.. that's all the good stuff! What's a punch-line without the joke? Sure you can drink the juice but it's better to eat the fruit. HA HA! I'll be damned! there's my line.... oh they're coming to me now! gotta go!

Keep the donut just gimme the glaze. Nah.. that one sucks.

I Hate Birds

I used to like birds but here recently I've almost developed a slight hatred for them. (Notice emphasis on slight). I was at Fire Station 6 one Sunday morning. Just got in from a long night of performing with Lazy Bone, which is my current band of which I am the lead guitarist. I think I hit the sheets at around 4 A.M and got up at 6 for a shower, shave and to pack 24 hours worth of food and clothing for my shift. Sounds pretty irresponsible huh? In a way it's not. We're allowed to sleep in until noon on Sunday's. (One of the job perks initiated to compensate for the low wages and to allow firefighters to recuperate after a long week of working 2 to 3 jobs to make ends meet). In fact, most of us don't bother taking off our jammies before coming to work on Sundays. The only problem with Sunday sleeping is the occasional house fire or vehicle, trash, grass fire, oil spill, etc. Yeah, it's always a gamble but one I don't mind taking. I mean, of course it's a dangerous job, but as long as you stick to the basics: "Put the wet stuff on the red stuff", you'll most likely be able to handle most situations with minimal brain usage. So I decided to get in my bed which is in the darkest corner of the sleeping area, but due to that fact and that I'm in it once every 3 days I have to do a quick insect/spider check before settling in. This can take up to 5 minutes depending on how tired I am and the amount of elapsed time since the last spider sitting and of course how big the spider was. Anyway, I got all cozy and did my horizontal yoga when I notice the sound of at least 10 birds in the ceiling. Not too loud just... there. You know that feeling you have or have had when you've been out partying all night and you finally get to a bed and you start hearing birds chirping? Same thing. I was too irritated to sleep, too sleepy to read, so I got up and watched Television, which I know after much research, takes absolutely no thought or energy to do. Oh and did I mention the poop? I guess since the word got out that Fire Station 6 was now a bird sanctuary and that a bird could have his/her way with any part of the building they began to migrate. If there was a visible hole on the outside, a crevice, a ledge with an overhang, there was a mass of straw, plastic and sticks hanging out of it. I finally got an extension ladder off the truck one Friday and pulled all the nests out. Of course I had to wait until they got their ugly balled babies out. After a few months of torment I put an end to the nests. Here lately birds have acquired a taste for dog food and have flooded our back patio at home with feathers, and poop. Recently I was going to Wal-Mart and I saw one of those lot sparrows that bob around eating French fries and other junk off the parking lot. Normally I would stop, smile and watch for a moment. It just wasn't in me. I gave it a look of disgust and for a moment our eyes met and he hopped cautiously out of range. Just today I was beneath an oak tree in the front yard thinking of how I was going to build a small garden around it when I felt something pop me on the top of the head. It was cold and wet and I didn't have to think for more than a second on what it was. "Little Shit". I said quietly and walked into the house to wash my hair. Maybe one day I'll get over this bird animosity. Until then they'd better just keep their distance's from me.

What’s That Sound?

I awoke this morning with a familiar yet puzzling sound in my ear. It was cool outside so my wife Angela and I decided to leave the window open to get some fresh air as we slept. Lying there debating on whether I was going to get up and go to the bathroom or try to ignore my urges and go back to sleep, I began to focus on the strange sound outside our window. At first it sounded like wind, but there was a whistling sound like that of a freight train. The wind was blowing pretty hard earlier that day so my imagination got the best of me and I found myself thinking the worst. The swelling windy sound, the train whistle tone. Oh my GOD! What if it’s a tornado?! I went through the safety check in my head and had it all planned out. First I would wake Angela and get her into the hallway then I would throw the mattress in there as a buffer and get the dogs from outside. I thought I should check it out first. I eased out of bed and looked out the window but could see no rustling trees, no gusts of wind shaking the screen. It was just this steady swelling noise that sounded like an interstate full of 18 wheelers and a tornado siren faintly in the distance. I’ve heard the sound for years in fact but it’s never jumped out at me and made me wonder what was causing it. Was it some factory near by? Couldn’t be.. Was it traffic? No way! If so I needed to find out why so many people were driving around at 2:40 in the morning. I got dressed, told Angela I was going to find out what the sound was, grabbed my digital sound recorder and video camera and set out to find out what the buzz was. I followed the sound all the way to Highway 82 East where a few 18 wheelers passed along with a few other random vehicles carrying passengers to work or home from a bar. After a while I began to notice little sounds.. A man pressure washing a service station parking lot, a woman in scrubs being called out to the hospital, a small pack of multi-colored dogs roaming about following the leader, and of course, myself trying to find out what’s going on. I came to the conclusion that the sound was always there but it was never as loud as it’s been recently. Maybe it was, in fact, all the little things I noticed when I was out that sounded like such a big noise compared to the silence of the night. Or maybe I wasn’t even close. Maybe I’ll set out on a bicycle next time and conduct a more thorough investigation. As I returned home with one heck of a boring video under my arm I noticed the sound was even louder than before as if it were taunting me or beckoning me. Maybe I don’t want to know what it is maybe I do. Until I find out for sure I will just stick with my current theory: It’s a space ship hovering somewhere on the outskirts of town full of alien beings who are spying on a huge little city called Greenville.

Yard day

I tried to perform a simple task today.. Cut the yard. Sounds easy doesn't it? It's been raining off and on lately and given my schedule I haven't gotten around to yard work in a good week or so. The grass is nearly a foot tall so I thought I would raise the mower as high as it would go and give it a whack at that level and maybe drop it down some and cut again.. As most of you would know each wheel on a push mower has a little plastic cap on it to keep from cutting your hand off on the sharp end of the metal adjuster. It's especially hard to adjust one of these buggers when its rusted due to leaving the mower in the rain one two many times.. The cap slipped off and the metal adjuster took a small chunk out of the inside knuckle bend of my right hand pinky. OUch! I go inside, stop the bleeding with a cotton ball (or boll), do the peroxide thing and neosporin topped with a bandage and I'm back out. After repairing the mower, the trimmer, and the blower it was mid afternoon and the wasps were irritable. Luckily I stocked up on wasp killer when I went to get mower parts from Lowe's. Normally wasps gather in a nest of 10 or so wasps. I found the crack in the outdoor molding where they were congregating and gave em a good dousing. I think I only pissed them off. So all day I'm afraid to cut around the left side of my house. I'm obviously more afraid of wasps than they are of me and four cans of industrial grade spray did me no good at 25 feet away.. That stuff was four dollars a can! My whole day turned into a war! I hope the neighbors didn't see me screaming and running for cover everytime I doused their nests. One of the nests had at least 30 wasps in it! I went back to Lowes late this afternoon and bought 4 more cans. They did me no good.. I finally loaded up the pump sprayer with dish liquid and water and decided I was going to have to take them out one at a time. By the end of the day I was no longer concerned with cutting the yard.. I had become obsessed and could care less if the neighbors thought I'd lost my mind. Armed with a pump sprayer I put my fears aside and went to war.. Everytime I thought I'd killed them all I would take a break only to return to find at least 5 wasps walking around on the wall as if nothing had happened. Several times I said "That's it I've had it!" But all I could do is go back to sitting and waiting for the next wasp to arrive. I began treating the situation like a hunting expedition saying things like: "Oh look at that one... big one Big ONe!" "Look at those antennae!" "I'm gonna mount that one!" "Oh you want some more?! Here ya go! Yeah I got cha now!" "Would anyone else like a taste before I put it up?" In fact, I began to enjoy it so much I just pulled up a lawn chair under the nest and just sat and waited until the next one came along. Just before dark Angela called me in to dinner and I looked around at the carnage. Dead wasps on the window sills, all over the ground, on the roof of the house. If they hadn't started this war by attacking me and one of my dogs the week before I would have let them be. Anyway I have to work tomorrow so I'll give it a rest for a day and pick up where I left off when I get off. I'm kinda looking forward to my next wasp hunting expedition.. Maybe I'll make a video.

What a Day Whew!

Today is what I would call a perfect day! I don't even know what the temp was but it felt sooo good. I cut the yard, washed and waxed the car, stayed outside all day long. I think I only received 2 phone calls. It was peaceful, I talked with my neighbor across the street which is something I never do. Sad but true.. Come to think of it. Where I grew up (north of town) everyone knew everyone in the neighborhood. It's sad to think I don't even know my next door neighbors last name.. That's it! In the near future I'm going to have a neighborhood party and invite everyone over to get to know them. (Knowing I'm fooling myself). But I will definately keep that in mind. We're all set to go to Panama City Beach! Can't wait! Only problem is we're going to have to find a place to get the oil changed in the car. All the quick lubes were closed today! Never realized they closed on Saturday. Guess they have to get off some time and I guess I've never went for an oil change on a Saturday.... odd. Maybe because until recently I've been playing music every weekend..

Ok that's enough jabbering... Piece!

Coyote Blue

I've been reading Coyote Blue by Christopher Moore... It started out okay then got better.. Now I'm catching myself laughing out loud here and there... I may have misunderstood this one... When I'm done I may read it again.. just to see if, just maybe, I missed something... If you're a Christopher Moore fan.. can you suggest a good one to start off on? I'm a big Douglas Adams fan so it's hard to find someone who compares. Ok.. gotta get to work now.. Piece!

"Captain.. Prepare to resurface!!"

Well, it's getting close to that time again. I did it a few years ago.. Only this time I won't be taking as long in between albums. What is it exactly I'm talking about? I'm talkin' bout my latest and greatest album yet be--ches! I'm getting ready to start playin' again and selling albums. Only this time I did it right. Got a pro to record it, got pros to play it, had pro's master it, had a pro design it and I don't have to print out each cd cover one by one and hand cut them and stuff them into jewel cases and burn each cd one at a time... No no no! Never again! I'm having these baby's duplicated 1000 at a time. Yep, I finally where I want to be and doing what I want to do. Time to start my life's work... I'm bringin' this sub to the top.. (ping.... ping.... , <submarine sound>, ping... ping... etc. fading out into a mere ringing of the ears...)

Well.. I haven't been in the writing mood lately. But what the hey, here we go:

Sometimes when I have trouble writing I just start writing whatever comes to my mind, just as I'm doing now. Even when there is nothing to say I just write (or type), "I have absolutely nothing to say so I'm just going to say nothing...". I believe it's called freestyle writing but I have trouble calling it so because when I hear "freestyle" I either imagine some kid on a skateboard frozen by camera in mid air on a *half-pipe sporting an asymmetrical hairdo, or I see two rappers on a stage spittin' on mics and *dissin' on each other. Nevertheless I don't use the word out of respect for my youngers. I would hate to have them thinking I've gone hip hop because I used the wrong terminology to describe what I did this evening. "Oh I just ate some cookie strips, designed a few banners then I did some freestyling." Ok, enough for now I'm already getting carried away. Which brings me to this: Whatever happened to Calgon? Remember that big box of soap your Mom used to have by the tub? Me neither! HAA!

Ok I'm going to try some freestylin' here.. you ready?

Oh.. Um.... yeah! uh huh Hit it...

I'm just a plain man....
typin' on a Desk-top
knockin' back some cookies gettin fat wearin' flip flops (yeeah)
the cheap kind that give ya blisters
leave black marks on tha flo when ya trip in tha kitchen
Ain't shaved in dayz,
Look like Jimmy Hendrix on stage High as f*** singin' Purple Haze
It's been a long week cuz
I forgot where it started where it is and what it wuz..
Now here comes tha clincer I just sat down to blog for a minute but..

Ah.. I can't rhyme with clincer... but that was *tight!

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*Definitions:

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*A half-pipe is a structure used in gravity extreme sports such as snowboarding, skateboarding, skiing, freestyle BMX and inline skating.

*A diss is an insult to someone, or to insult someone. This hip hop term is an evolved (read shortened) version of “disrespect”.
www.hiphop.net/hip-hop-slang-101/

*Tight: 1. adj./adv. an older term that still maintains its presence that means good or very nice. "Man . . . did you see that lowered Cadillac? It was tight!"

Nightshift... one of my better vids.

Blah Blah Blog!!

Why is it that people who have so little to say.. say so much? I hate when people call me on the phone and say.. "uh... what are you doing?" I'm always like: "I'm F.*#ing working.... what about you!??" Which I never actually say... I just say it to other friends when we're discussing people who just won't shut up or just stay glued to the phone..
I've hated the telephone ever since I can remember.... When I was a child, I would get so frustrated when people in the movies let the phone ring more than 3 times... Four times and I'd just have to shout out, "Pick up the phone dummy!"

Angela (aka: my wife alias: Pickles on Pizza) and I finally got it all figured out a few years ago.. We would turn the ringer off the phone... have the answering machine answer it... and have the volume on the answering machine turned down between 0 and 1. Even then when I'd walk in the door from wherever it was that I came from, I'd see the answering machine light blinking and just get furious.. "Don't these people have lives or jobs or something?"

Anyway, to make a long story short.. We got rid of the home phone.. and got these cell phones instead.. Now it's inescapable!

ONe thing I can surely promise you all out there... I will never NEVER Ever EVER ever.. call you UNLESS... I really have something to say or someone has died.. til then... SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA!

PEACE BE WITH YOU..