Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Brown Water Blues

My town is drying up.  You would never know it by the amount of cars you see every day.  The traffic is pretty rough if you consider the size of the town.  (Population wise that is).  Well now a bypass is being built which means everyone will soon be passing us by.  Maybe that's a good thing though.  Less traffic.  More peace and quiet.  Less damage to our streets.  Maybe the whole town will sleep better and because of it we'll all become clear headed and some intelligence will spawn somewhere in our brown water brains.  Yeah our tap water is brown by the way.  We're famous for it.  But the water is magical though.  For writers that is.  Legend is... if you drink it you will get a writing deal.  It doesn't apply to locals sadly.  It will render you insane if you drink too much.  You'll get so many ideas that you will never finish one.  You'll become so creative that you won't know where to start and where to end.  I swear!  It happened to me.   Of course it only makes you more of what you already are.  I.e.  if you're an idiot you may suffer permanent brain damage.  It's happened to so many people around here.... it's sad really.  Anyway if you ever make it out to this old run down town.  Get you a drink of the brown water.  If you think you can handle it.    SIP"  "ah.... that's good stuff"  

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An All Day Job

I recently had to do a fire safety inspection at the local hospital. DRMC.  It was an all day job!  I can't imagine inspecting a New York City hospital!  It was very interesting though.  First time I ever saw a morgue.  Call it a morbid fascination but I had to look inside one of the chambers.  No comment.  Sadly I had my first fire death as an investigator this past Sunday night.  Pretty sad but it was good experience.  Our first fire deaths of the new year.  Hopefully our last. (And my second look at the morgue).  The poor people couldn't get out of the house because of the security door and Windows.   At the same time we couldn't get in fast enough.  I can't stress how dangerous security bars are.  Sure they keep criminals out but they hold you hostage at the same time.  They're just not worth it.  I've had quite a few experiences lately that have brought me to realize the importance of my job as first, a safety inspector and second, a fire investigator.  As much as I hate being the bad guy.. all you business owners and daycare owners etc...  I'll be as sweet as I can be but don't even THINK you're going to run a dangerous business on MY watch!  Fire Marshal Aub Dawg is in yo hizzle,  all up in yo grizzle fo rizzle!  All day long!
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Saturday, January 9, 2010

Two Dog Night

It's so friggin' frigid tonight! 17 degrees is about as cold as we southerners can handle. We had to bring the dogs in. They are living it up! Can you imagine if life were that simple for us? Just a warm bed and food to eat. Not even clothes. Not even underwear! Well I'm glad to have both. I do admit that it would be nice though... walking out to the mailbox... not completely naked just fur all over. Like a permanent set of footie pajamas of the most comfortable fabric growing through my skin. I'd never have to wash it. Just hop right into the shower and shake off the excess water.. towel off, blow dry and get straight into bed. Of course the whole genitals on the outside would be a matter but if people can walk down a beach and have picnics in the nude I guess I could get used to it. Well if it weren't for the fur shedding and the Cheetoes smell rising off these two furry animals lying around in our living room.... I think I would rather enjoy snuggling up to these mutts tonight! It wouldn't be quite a '3 dog night' but... its not really THAT cold anyway.

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Saturday, January 2, 2010

About Pickles on Pizza

I thought I would take a moment of our time (mine and yours) to tell you a bit about our beloved "Pickles On Pizza.  I just got back from playing at an almost local restaurant the "Cow Pen".  It was a decent crowd.  Sold some cds and had a good time.  Anyway, when I got home Angela greeted me with open arms and some good reviews news about our 'swiss cheese cake'.  We had a quick dinner and she proceeded to make her cookies for tomorrow's bakery.   Maybe its the Patron or the ease of the 4 day weekend but I caught myself staring at her and grinning ear to ear tonight .   I love that there is a side to my cute cuddly significant other that only I know.  She's absolutely, hands down, (brand new puppy) adorable.  And she's my best friend.  I got all mushy feeling when I saw her in her apron baking cookies.  We have a rare. love that I believe few people experience or even understand.  I just had to get a plain old everyday .photo to share with you guys and gals.  Take a good look folks... that there's the love of my life. Oh and  we've been busy so mind the kitchen.

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Wal-Mart is Dead

New years day and I'm in Wal-Mart.  My heater went out in the studio so I treked down to get a new one.  If you don't know me you would think I love Wal-Mart by the countless hours I spend there.  In truth I'm just trying my best not to return a crappy product.   Sometimes I get paranoid with all the cameras staring at me.   If I spend too much time on a certain aisle I feel like they send the secret shopper around to see me.  Trust me my moms friends with one.... they do exist.  Maybe my paranoia comes from that time when I was with a friend who sorta plotted to steal a Nintendo cartridge.  Yep.  To make a long story short... I chickened out and later saw him crying with his arm locked in the firm grip of a security guard.  He got a years probation and I got a lifetime of supermarket shame.  We were about 9 years or younger of age.  Yeah that just about nipped theft in the bud for me.  So the point was....  Happy New year and can you believe how empty that aisle is?  

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