Yard day

I tried to perform a simple task today.. Cut the yard. Sounds easy doesn't it? It's been raining off and on lately and given my schedule I haven't gotten around to yard work in a good week or so. The grass is nearly a foot tall so I thought I would raise the mower as high as it would go and give it a whack at that level and maybe drop it down some and cut again.. As most of you would know each wheel on a push mower has a little plastic cap on it to keep from cutting your hand off on the sharp end of the metal adjuster. It's especially hard to adjust one of these buggers when its rusted due to leaving the mower in the rain one two many times.. The cap slipped off and the metal adjuster took a small chunk out of the inside knuckle bend of my right hand pinky. OUch! I go inside, stop the bleeding with a cotton ball (or boll), do the peroxide thing and neosporin topped with a bandage and I'm back out. After repairing the mower, the trimmer, and the blower it was mid afternoon and the wasps were irritable. Luckily I stocked up on wasp killer when I went to get mower parts from Lowe's. Normally wasps gather in a nest of 10 or so wasps. I found the crack in the outdoor molding where they were congregating and gave em a good dousing. I think I only pissed them off. So all day I'm afraid to cut around the left side of my house. I'm obviously more afraid of wasps than they are of me and four cans of industrial grade spray did me no good at 25 feet away.. That stuff was four dollars a can! My whole day turned into a war! I hope the neighbors didn't see me screaming and running for cover everytime I doused their nests. One of the nests had at least 30 wasps in it! I went back to Lowes late this afternoon and bought 4 more cans. They did me no good.. I finally loaded up the pump sprayer with dish liquid and water and decided I was going to have to take them out one at a time. By the end of the day I was no longer concerned with cutting the yard.. I had become obsessed and could care less if the neighbors thought I'd lost my mind. Armed with a pump sprayer I put my fears aside and went to war.. Everytime I thought I'd killed them all I would take a break only to return to find at least 5 wasps walking around on the wall as if nothing had happened. Several times I said "That's it I've had it!" But all I could do is go back to sitting and waiting for the next wasp to arrive. I began treating the situation like a hunting expedition saying things like: "Oh look at that one... big one Big ONe!" "Look at those antennae!" "I'm gonna mount that one!" "Oh you want some more?! Here ya go! Yeah I got cha now!" "Would anyone else like a taste before I put it up?" In fact, I began to enjoy it so much I just pulled up a lawn chair under the nest and just sat and waited until the next one came along. Just before dark Angela called me in to dinner and I looked around at the carnage. Dead wasps on the window sills, all over the ground, on the roof of the house. If they hadn't started this war by attacking me and one of my dogs the week before I would have let them be. Anyway I have to work tomorrow so I'll give it a rest for a day and pick up where I left off when I get off. I'm kinda looking forward to my next wasp hunting expedition.. Maybe I'll make a video.

What a Day Whew!

Today is what I would call a perfect day! I don't even know what the temp was but it felt sooo good. I cut the yard, washed and waxed the car, stayed outside all day long. I think I only received 2 phone calls. It was peaceful, I talked with my neighbor across the street which is something I never do. Sad but true.. Come to think of it. Where I grew up (north of town) everyone knew everyone in the neighborhood. It's sad to think I don't even know my next door neighbors last name.. That's it! In the near future I'm going to have a neighborhood party and invite everyone over to get to know them. (Knowing I'm fooling myself). But I will definately keep that in mind. We're all set to go to Panama City Beach! Can't wait! Only problem is we're going to have to find a place to get the oil changed in the car. All the quick lubes were closed today! Never realized they closed on Saturday. Guess they have to get off some time and I guess I've never went for an oil change on a Saturday.... odd. Maybe because until recently I've been playing music every weekend..

Ok that's enough jabbering... Piece!

Coyote Blue

I've been reading Coyote Blue by Christopher Moore... It started out okay then got better.. Now I'm catching myself laughing out loud here and there... I may have misunderstood this one... When I'm done I may read it again.. just to see if, just maybe, I missed something... If you're a Christopher Moore fan.. can you suggest a good one to start off on? I'm a big Douglas Adams fan so it's hard to find someone who compares. Ok.. gotta get to work now.. Piece!

"Captain.. Prepare to resurface!!"

Well, it's getting close to that time again. I did it a few years ago.. Only this time I won't be taking as long in between albums. What is it exactly I'm talking about? I'm talkin' bout my latest and greatest album yet be--ches! I'm getting ready to start playin' again and selling albums. Only this time I did it right. Got a pro to record it, got pros to play it, had pro's master it, had a pro design it and I don't have to print out each cd cover one by one and hand cut them and stuff them into jewel cases and burn each cd one at a time... No no no! Never again! I'm having these baby's duplicated 1000 at a time. Yep, I finally where I want to be and doing what I want to do. Time to start my life's work... I'm bringin' this sub to the top.. (ping.... ping.... , <submarine sound>, ping... ping... etc. fading out into a mere ringing of the ears...)

Well.. I haven't been in the writing mood lately. But what the hey, here we go:

Sometimes when I have trouble writing I just start writing whatever comes to my mind, just as I'm doing now. Even when there is nothing to say I just write (or type), "I have absolutely nothing to say so I'm just going to say nothing...". I believe it's called freestyle writing but I have trouble calling it so because when I hear "freestyle" I either imagine some kid on a skateboard frozen by camera in mid air on a *half-pipe sporting an asymmetrical hairdo, or I see two rappers on a stage spittin' on mics and *dissin' on each other. Nevertheless I don't use the word out of respect for my youngers. I would hate to have them thinking I've gone hip hop because I used the wrong terminology to describe what I did this evening. "Oh I just ate some cookie strips, designed a few banners then I did some freestyling." Ok, enough for now I'm already getting carried away. Which brings me to this: Whatever happened to Calgon? Remember that big box of soap your Mom used to have by the tub? Me neither! HAA!

Ok I'm going to try some freestylin' here.. you ready?

Oh.. Um.... yeah! uh huh Hit it...

I'm just a plain man....
typin' on a Desk-top
knockin' back some cookies gettin fat wearin' flip flops (yeeah)
the cheap kind that give ya blisters
leave black marks on tha flo when ya trip in tha kitchen
Ain't shaved in dayz,
Look like Jimmy Hendrix on stage High as f*** singin' Purple Haze
It's been a long week cuz
I forgot where it started where it is and what it wuz..
Now here comes tha clincer I just sat down to blog for a minute but..

Ah.. I can't rhyme with clincer... but that was *tight!

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*Definitions:

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*A half-pipe is a structure used in gravity extreme sports such as snowboarding, skateboarding, skiing, freestyle BMX and inline skating.

*A diss is an insult to someone, or to insult someone. This hip hop term is an evolved (read shortened) version of “disrespect”.
www.hiphop.net/hip-hop-slang-101/

*Tight: 1. adj./adv. an older term that still maintains its presence that means good or very nice. "Man . . . did you see that lowered Cadillac? It was tight!"

Nightshift... one of my better vids.

Blah Blah Blog!!

Why is it that people who have so little to say.. say so much? I hate when people call me on the phone and say.. "uh... what are you doing?" I'm always like: "I'm F.*#ing working.... what about you!??" Which I never actually say... I just say it to other friends when we're discussing people who just won't shut up or just stay glued to the phone..
I've hated the telephone ever since I can remember.... When I was a child, I would get so frustrated when people in the movies let the phone ring more than 3 times... Four times and I'd just have to shout out, "Pick up the phone dummy!"

Angela (aka: my wife alias: Pickles on Pizza) and I finally got it all figured out a few years ago.. We would turn the ringer off the phone... have the answering machine answer it... and have the volume on the answering machine turned down between 0 and 1. Even then when I'd walk in the door from wherever it was that I came from, I'd see the answering machine light blinking and just get furious.. "Don't these people have lives or jobs or something?"

Anyway, to make a long story short.. We got rid of the home phone.. and got these cell phones instead.. Now it's inescapable!

ONe thing I can surely promise you all out there... I will never NEVER Ever EVER ever.. call you UNLESS... I really have something to say or someone has died.. til then... SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA!

PEACE BE WITH YOU..